A revision is needed for the already published paper
I am a music teacher in New Orleans at a title 1 school
here are the details given in the evaluation report
Need/Challenge
The paper interestingly identifies engaging learners with varying reading and comprehension levels, noting that over 90% of scholarly students lack reading and comprehension skills. The discussion is imprecise because engagement, reading skills, and comprehension skills are identified; therefore, one student learning need or challenge cannot be determined.
Long Term Goal #1
A long-term goal to improve differentiation strategies to address student needs or challenges by attending workshops and many professional development days is presented. The first long-term goal is insufficient because it is not measurable, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge.
Goal #1 Explanation
An explanation that describes personalized learning experiences so that each learner can engage and access class resources or other music curricula is duly noted. The explanation is imprecise because the first long-term goal is not a measurable professional growth goal, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge.
Short Term Goals #1
Three short-term goals are provided, including attending different workshops on differentiation, implementing differentiation strategies or methods, and using metrics and surveys to assess student engagement. The short-term goals are insufficient because they are not measurable professional growth goals, the first long-term goal is not a measurable professional growth goal, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge.
Actionable Steps for Goal 1
Actionable steps are provided for each short-term goal, including developing surveys to assess student participation or engagement and planning with the reading interventionist to implement strategies. The steps are imprecise because each short-term goal and the first long-term goal are not measurable professional growth goals, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge.
Timeline for Goal 1
A timeline that identifies the frequency of creating an outline for the music curriculum each week, attending a 3-4 hour professional development, the frequency of implementing assistive technologies every 2 weeks, and conducting weekly assessments for 30 minutes is duly noted. The timeline is insufficient because it does not specify the number of hours or days needed to complete each actionable step, the timeline does not align with the actionable steps, each short-term goal and the first long-term goal are not measurable professional growth goals, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge.
Long Term Goal 2
A second long-term goal, which is to promote students’ music theory and notation comprehension skills, is presented in the submission. The second long-term goal is insufficient because it is not a measurable professional growth goal, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge.
Goal 2 Explanation
An explanation that supports the development of foundation knowledge to promote musical literacy and develop reading and comprehension is duly noted. The explanation is imprecise because the second long-term goal is not a measurable professional growth goal, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge
Short Term Goals 2
Three short-term goals are presented, including attending differentiated professional development to develop a scaffolded curriculum, adopting interactive music theory application, and understanding music theory comprehension every week. The short-term goals are insufficient because each short-term goal is not a measurable professional growth goal, the second long-term goal is not a measurable professional growth goal, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge.
Actionable Steps for 2
Actionable steps are provided, including outlining each step of the curriculum to ensure complexity, integrating tools into the classroom activities, and designing strategies to help weekly asses the students to examine comprehension. The steps are insufficient because each short-term goal is not a measurable professional growth goal, the second long-term goal is not a measurable professional growth goal, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge.
Timeline for Goal 2
The paper uniquely identifies weekly assessing students to examine their comprehension. The response is insufficient because it does not specify the number of hours or days needed to complete each actionable step, each short-term goal and the second long-term goal is not a measurable professional growth goal, and part A does not identify one student learning need or challenge.
Goals and Continual Improvement
The paper presents a thoughtful discussion of how the provided goals will substantially affect the classroom because they promote inclusivity by ensuring that scholars’ reading and comprehension levels are up to par. The focus of the discussion is imprecise because one student learning need or challenge with two supporting measurable professional long-term goals cannot be determined, and the response does not address how both making and achieving long- and short-term goals can continually improve instructional practice.
APA sources
A reference for Osewalt (2022) and two additional scholarly sources are presented.
The submission contains inaccurate responses in multiple aspects, which may impact sources, and each citation does not align with the APA style.
Professional Communication
The work effectively utilizes a strong organizational format. This aspect is marked as approaching competence pending revision of content areas to ensure alignment throughout the paper.
Notes from professor
I’ll be happy to assist you. It looks like for your part A on the recent submission, you added more information to that section instead of instead simplifying and stating just one, very specific student learning need. What is a specific skill or topic you might teach in music that is something your students may find challenging to learn? You want to start with just one, very specific learning need for part A.
Then, for both long-term goals, they should be concise learning goals, in measurable format. Once you have identified an updated learning need for part A of the paper, it may help to review the examples in my email below to then draft updated long-term goals (B1 and B2 in the paper).
I hope that helps to provide more guidance as you work on your updates. Let me know what questions you have or how else I can support you.
Task 2 revision notes:
The learning need in part A should be a student learning need that is content related, such as a specific concept or skill, in a particular subject area, in which students may struggle to learn. Then, both of the long-term goals should be learning goals for yourself—things you want to learn about to help you teach that specific need or skill from part A.
For example, if a dance teacher identified a learning challenge their students have is keeping proper posture during dance movements, here is an example of a long-term goal they may set: “By (date), I will learn three new strategies that I can use to model posture adjustments during dance instruction.”
I’ve provided an additional example below of two long-term goals written in a measurable format, that are specific to one student learning need:
If a teacher discussed a student learning need in part A, for example, that their students struggle with reading comprehension, then below are two examples of measurable long-term learning goals the teacher may use. I’ve highlighted the parts that help to make these examples goals measurable (so you can know when you’ve accomplished them).
By June 1, 2024, I want to learn five new small group reading comprehension activities I can use in my station rotation.
By June 1, 2024, I want to learn three new 1:1 intervention strategies to assist with reading comprehension.
“Measurable example”: Using specific numbers in your goals and also setting end dates for completing them can help to serve as the measure of achieving that goal. For example, if in Part A I discussed a need/challenge my students experience with fractions, one long-term goal I might set for myself is to learn three technologies for teaching fractions by June 1, 2024 (what I highlighted in green are the parts that help to make the goal measurable). For your short-term goals, you can use a similar approach by setting an end date and adding other “numbers”—like observing a certain number of teachers, attending an online webinar on a specific date, reading 100% of a book, etc.
Example of long-term goal and associated short-term goals:
For my example below, let’s pretend that in part A of the paper, I identified a need my students had around not being able to understand and know how to use the many geometry formulas we cover in our Geometry class.
Then, for one of my long-term goals, I might choose to set a long-term goal for myself to learn three new technologies that can be used to teach surface area and volume formulas by the end of this school year.
If that was my long-term goal, then to set my three related short-term goals, I’d want to think of three professional learning opportunities I could engage in that would give me some of those new ideas I want to learn. Here are some ideas I may consider for myself:
Maybe for one short-term goal, I want to observe another geometry teacher three times during classes when they are using different technologies to teach these concepts. I would set a date for when I want to do this by, and discuss how I could keep track of my observations and learnings.
I might pick an upcoming online conference to attend that I saw advertised for new Geometry technologies—that could be another short-term goal (to attend by certain date, record my notes/learnings).
One of the newer technologies for Geometry just released an online training series—I might decide I want to complete that training, by a certain date, to learn more about that technology to see how I might be able to use it in my own teaching.
Short-term goal action steps and timeline tip:
Once three measurable short-term goals are each identified for the two long-term goals, you’ll need to also include the action steps and timeline for achieving each of those three. Think of those as your “to do” list for accomplishing each short-term goal. Some steps may take 10 minutes, some may take longer—as long as for each step you indicate how long, you should be set. In case it helps to see a visual of a way you could present this portion, I’ve pasted a table below that you’ll also see in the reflection tool resource found on pages 30 and 35 of the course—you are welcome to use the table and include that in your paper if that is helpful.
When making the steps, you’ll want to be sure to make them clear that anyone could follow the “to do” list for each short-term goal and include the amount of time for each step.
For example, if I had a short-term goal to observe two other math lessons then my steps might be something like this, with the amount of time for each step in parentheses.
Coordinate dates for observations with two teachers (15 minutes)
Observe first class (45 min)
Write reflection notes from first observation (20 min)
Observe second class (45 min)
Write reflection notes from second observation (20 mi
