Whose Emotions Count? Wrestling with family proposals for arranged marriages
In this scenario, you are a private practice counselor. You have been counseling the Abadi family for more than a year. This professional relationship started with you counseling Mrs. Abadi as an individual, but after a few months, this expanded to include her husband and two children, 17-year-old Yael and 12-year-old Moises. The Abadi family are observant Orthodox Jews and live their life strictly following Halachic (religious) Law.
Over the past few months, it has become apparent to you that the Abadi parents have found a husband for their daughter Yael who is another religiously observant Jew, 11 years her senior. This arrangement has been completed through the local synagogue and has the blessing of the Head Rabbi of the community. In recent weeks, Yael has asked to have some individual sessions with you (without her parent’s knowledge) and has expressed that she does not want to marry the man who she has been matched with as she does not love him. She has been seeking your guidance on strategies to help her succeed in a marriage that has been arranged against her will, as she is aware that culturally this is what is expected of her.
You have discussed this casually with Yael’s parents and opened up the opportunity for Yael to discuss how she feels with her family, but she has consistently declined to speak. Based upon your family sessions to date, you believe that Yael’s father will not hear of any alternative options although her mother does appear to be conflicted over whether or not Yael’s happiness is more important than the cultural and religious expectations for her to marry in this way. She recognized that this is how she felt as a young girl prior to her arranged marriage – but says that hopes that Yael will learn to live with the choice made for her.
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What should you say to Yael?
What obligations do you have to share information with other family members?
Do you need to contact any (or all) of them and, if so, what do you need to communicate?
Should you speak to some but not all family members? Explain your reasoning for all decisions made.
Your post must be relevant and substantive. Write a minimum of two paragraphs. Support statements with examples, experiences, and references. Use APA style for all your references and citations.
