University of Tennessee Redneck Engineering Exam
1. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or 64 Pontiac GTO?
2. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will it take to cut the trees?
3. A front porch is constructed of 2×8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The
porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
4. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man’s land?
5. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic on secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?
6. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of
3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
7. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a
Country-western singer?
How do you know when you’re staying in a Tennessee hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, “I gotta leak in my sink,” and the clerk replies, “Go ahead.”
How do you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?
There’s dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of “Hee Haw” in Tennessee?
Documentaries.
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Tennessee. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.
Did you hear about the $3 million Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can’t touch it ’til she’s 14.
A Tennessee State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says to the driver, “Got any I.D.?”
And the driver replies “Bout wut?”
The governor’s mansion in Tennessee burned down! Yep. Pert’ near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books-poof! up in flames and he hadn’t even finished coloring one of them.
A new law was recently passed in Tennessee. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says, “You ain’t from ’round here are ya?
“No,” replies the man, “I’m from Pennsylvania.”
The bartender looks at him and says, “Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania ?”
“I’m a taxidermist,” said the man.
The bartender , looking very bewildered now, asks, “What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?
“The man says, “I mount animals”.
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar…”It’s okay boys, he’s one of us!”
Your task in this discussion topic is to examine the origins of “Tennessee Hillbillies/Rednecks.”
Discussion Directions
Where did the terms originate?
Why are these terms used?
Who is a “hillbilly” or “redneck?”
What is being done to change the way society as a whole views Tennesseans?
