Submission Feedback
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Hi Suda, Thanks for submitting the first draft of your synthesis literature review on ergonomics. Excellent work on selecting recent, high-quality articles during your research.
This assignment requires two drafts, so the comments below provide notes to use as you prepare the final draft:
In the introduction, you may want to add a brief definition of ergonomics after its first mention.
In Theme I, I’d recommend shortening the second paragraph of Divergences and Additions. (Both repetition and wordiness are concerns in the paragraph.)
You have an excellent start with APA, but a final round of editing is needed for mostly minor errors. For instance, the references need review for capitalization in the article titles—some are capitalized correctly while others need revision. You can use the reference entry for Boatca et al. as an example of an article title that is correctly capitalized.
As a final note, I would encourage editing to improve concision in the literature review. As an example, the Overview section of Theme II could be reduced to something like the following: “The literature shows that improving ergonomics can increase productivity, decrease absenteeism rates, and improve job satisfaction. In short, both employee performance and health can be improved with ergonomics.” This conveys the same idea in around 30 words that the Overview section uses nearly 80 words to do. Business readers appreciate concisely written documents that use plain language as they are quick to read.
Good work on your first draft, Suda. It was interesting to see the research you found and especially how you organized it in a meaningful way. You’re certainly collecting good research to carry forward into the report assignment. The final draft of the literature review should be turned in on/by July 2. If questions come up as you finish the literature review, send me a note via IM or email.
PS. here is her feedback. you can double breakdown some of the paragraph.
