So basically I have already submitted the essay but I was graded zero because I did not check my sources carefully(they were looked up from AI so…), and I am currently graded zero and my instructor asks me to resubmit and get regraded.
So what I am here requesting for is to ask for a rewritten essay based on the essay I already submitted, that means no change in the Title page, Abstract, argument and the premises but only changing the article and basically all sources. I will provide you with what the instructor has told me about, that is to rewrite an essay based on my topic.
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Here is what my instructor left with a comment after reviewing my essay:
Things I encourage you to work on:
I was just looking at your works cited page. Are you aware that the majority of your resources are not acceptable for this assignment? Unfortunately, that is a significant problem. I encourage you to look at the instructions for the assignment. This is the primary reason why I cannot accept this paper. The entire purpose of this class is to be able to present a research paper, and so, I cannot give you a passing grade unless you can prove to me that you can both find the correct academic research and use it correctly in a paper.
Your works cited page is not cited correctly. Please review correct MLA format and revise these.
To be clear, these resources are NOT acceptable:
Garman, Susan Sorenson and Keri. “Different Job Types Demand Different Engagement
Strategies.” Gallup.Com, Gallup, 28 Mar. 2023, www.gallup.com/workplace/390833/
different-job-types-demand-different-engagement-strategies.aspx.
Heimlich, Russell. “Baby Boomers Retire.” Pew Research Center, Pew Research Center, 29 Dec.
2010, www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2010/12/29/baby-boomers-retire/.
Hunt, Vivian, et al. “Diversity and Inclusion.” McKinsey & Company, www.mckinsey.com/
featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion. Accessed 25 Mar. 2024.
“Millennials at Work: Perspectives on Diversity & Inclusion.” Weber Shandwick,
webershandwick.com/news/millennials-at-work-perspectives-on-diversity-inclusion. Accessed 25 Mar. 2024
Although these do fit the type of resources acceptable for this assignment, as the assignment instructions say, all of your resources must have been published within the past seven years, and so, the following are also NOT acceptable:
Paluck, Elizabeth Levy, and Donald P Green. Prejudice Reduction: What Works? A Review and Assessment of Research and Practice, 2009, static1.squarespace.com/static/
5186d08fe4b065e39b45b91e/t/51e3234ce4b0c8784c9e4aae/1373840204345/
Paluck_Green_AnnRev_2009.pdf. Thomas, David A. and Robin J Ely. Making Differences Matter; A New Paradigm for Managing Diversity, ideas.wharton.upenn.edu/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Paradigms-for-
Engaging-a-Diverse-Workforce_Thomas-Ely-1996.pdf. Accessed 25 Mar. 2024.
lesia, Alberto, and Eliana La Ferrara. Ethnic Diversity and Economic Performance – Harvard University, scholar.harvard.edu/files/alesina/files/
ethnic_diversity_and_economic_performance.pdf. Accessed 25 Mar. 2024.
– for this last once, although you did not cite this one correctly, I looked it up, and the publication date was 2005.
Also to be clear:
– a minimum of three of your sources were required to be peer reviewed journal articles.
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So basically all my sources are not workable and that is why i ask for a rewrite. BUT my formatting should be right(I did not include my name) except for that my work cited page has problems maybe because i used the citation generator???
I have attached my essay (Midterm Essay. final version.docx)
and an example essay the instructor required us to learn. THe example essay includes what a correct formatting should look like
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Below is the essay requirement. I know it is a lot….
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Paper Overview
Your task is to write a philosophical essay in which you develop clear, concise, and well-reasoned premises to support and defend an original, narrow, substantive philosophical argument on the prescriptive argument you have chosen and I have approved for this assignment.
The point of this paper is for you to do substantial critical thinking yourself, not for you to just write a report on other’s research or opinions. Yet, your argument needs to engage significantly with scholarly literature. So, it is important to provide your reader with a sufficient amount of information to understand your argument and to demonstrate why it is reasonable for them to believe your Conclusion. This involves careful, clear, and concise summaries of views where needed and clear analysis of key aspects of research Include information/explication only as it is necessary for understanding, motivating, supporting, or defending your argument. If the information does not directly support your argument, unless it is part of your counterargument, it does not belong in your paper.
Critical Thinking. You need to be able to explain clearly and concisely why the reader should believe your argument. This is your purpose throughout the paper. So, when you present research information, why should I believe that information makes your premise stronger? And when you present research analysis, why should I believe that analysis makes your premise stronger? Just providing research and doing an analysis does not necessarily make your premise stronger. It is how you present and explain this information to the reader that defines your critical thinking ability.
Research Analysis. You need to show me at some point in your paper that you know how to analyze the research you have chosen and can explain why it is considered strong research applying what you have learned from the textbook regarding quality research — Chapters 7, 8, and 10. (Note: Chapter 10 is especially important here!) This is a significant portion of your grade! I strongly encourage you to read the lecture notes and model papers to understand how to apply this concept in your own paper.
Counterarguments and Refutations. In terms of considering counterarguments to your view, try to tackle just one or two of the strongest objections to your position that an opponent might raise. Any objection you consider should bear upon your argument. That is, it shouldn’t be a flat rejection of your argument. Also, this portion should be no longer than 1 1/2 pages of your paper maximum.
MLA (Modern Language Association) Format. I am going to focus on MLA 9th edition format here as it is what is taught in the English 1A class which is the prerequisite class to this one. I am hoping it is clear at this point that correct citations — both parenthetical (in the paper) AND bibliographical (at the end of the paper) — are required. As you know, there was a prerequisite for this course which including a learning outcome of you knowing how to correctly use MLA format. I am holding you to those expectations for this class.
To be clear, consistent paper format includes all of the following:
Cover Page (also called a Title Page). Some professors require it for MLA format, and some do not. I do! If you are unclear how to format an MLA cover/title page, you can find instructions here: MLA Cover/Title Page InstructionsLinks to an external site.
Page Numbers (these should begin AFTER the cover/title page). If you are unclear how to do this, just do a web search for how to include page numbers in your word processing program, such as: Page Numbers in Word
Philosophy Structure. To be clear, this includes:
A consistent, visible and logical structure between your argument, your abstract (the second paragraph in the introduction), and your actual paper.
A formal argument structure presented as the first piece AFTER your cover page and BEFORE your actual paper.
Use of subtitles that reflect each of the premises/reasons used to support your argument.
Clear subtitles used to represent your counterarguments and related responses/refutations.
Using first-person (instead of third-person which is often taught in English classes).
Paper Length/Format
8-9 pages, (a minimum of eight full pages). The eight full pages should be just your written paper — none of the other pieces listed below are counted in this number.
Title Page
Formal Argument page
Works Cited page
Modern Language Association (MLA) format 9th edition
Research Resource Requirements
Six written primary sources (excluding the textbook) which includes:
1. At least three of your research resources must be peer-reviewed journals! You can find step-by step instructions for how to access those here.Download here.Open this document with ReadSpeaker docReader
2. The other three (or more if you so choose) can be peer-reviewed journals, academic books, or .edu or .gov websites.
3. Please note that these six sources do NOT include the sources for your terms defined! These are additional.
To be clear:
I will not accept random internet sources like .coms or .orgs — or anything else other than the ones I already said I would accept. If you really think you found something that is worthy of being accepted, please email me directly and ask about it.
I will not accept newspapers.
I will not accept magazines.
More sources are not necessarily better — try not to exceed 10 well-selected primary sources.
