Review the 4 patterns of family communication discussed in Chapter 10 (consensual, pluralistic, protective, and laissez-faire)–be sure to review what each one means and don’t just go by what you think the name means! Write a 1 to 2 pg. (double-spaced) essay about what communication style you think was the primary one exhibited in your family of origin (whatever family in which you spent most of your childhood) and what behaviors you saw that exhibited that pattern. Then describe what communication style is the primary one in your current family or that you want to have in your future family of your own (however you would like to define that family-committed couple, family with child or children, chosen family of close friends, etc.). How do you think your family’s cultural background (my family comes from a Jamaican background) factors into its communication style? Were you satisfied with the communication pattern that you were raised with, and if not, in what way would you like communication to be different in your own family?
4 patterns of family communication
A family high in both conversation orientation and conformity orientation is consensual. Communication reflects the tension between the pressure to agree and preserve the hierarchy of authority and an interest in open communication and exploration. In a consensual family, the child would feel comfortable making their case for the tattoo, and the parents would be willing to hear the child out. Ultimately, the decision would rest with the parents.
Families high in conversation orientation and low in conformity orientation are pluralistic. Communication in these families is open and unrestrained, with all family members’ contributions evaluated on their own merits. It’s easy to visualize an ongoing family discussion about whether the tattoo is a good idea. Older and younger siblings—and maybe even other relatives—would weigh in with their perspectives. In the best of worlds, a consensus would emerge from these discussions.
Families low in conversation orientation and high in conformity orientation are protective. Communication in these families emphasizes obedience to authority and the reluctance to share thoughts and feelings. In a protective family, there would be little if any discussion about the tattoo. The parents would decide, and their word would be final.
Families low in both conversation orientation and conformity orientation are laissez-faire. Laissez-faire roughly translates from French as “hands off.” Communication in these families reflects family members’ lack of involvement with each other, and decision making is individual. In this type of family, the child might not even bring the tattoo up for discussion before deciding. If they did, the parents would have little to say about whether their child did or didn’t decorate their body with permanent art. With the tattoo—and most other matters—their response would be an indifferent “Whatever.”
