Relationship Check-Up and Reflection
Overview
The purposes of this paper are (1) to help you better understand the communication and conflict theories and concepts discussed in the text and (2) to enhance one of your interpersonal relationships.
Process
Choose a significant ongoing relationship in your life.
Sit down with the other person and ask the questions below and document the responses.
Before or after you sit down with your partner, have them complete the Conflict Style Survey: “How Others Perceive I Act in Conflict”.
Then, have your partner ask you the same questions.
Appreciations: What do you appreciate about me most? What do you appreciate about our relationship?
Updates: What new information do you have for me that I need to know about?
Wishes/Hopes/Dreams: What are your wishes? Hopes? Dreams? How have they changed (or stayed the same)?
Emotions: What emotions do you experience when you are in conflict? What emotions do you see that I experience? How do your/my emotions affect our behaviors when we are in conflict? What would you like me to work on?
Conflict: What important issues do we need to work on? What do you like/dislike about the way we manage conflict with one another?
Forgiveness: What would you like forgiveness for? Will you forgive me for _____?
Requests for Change: What would you like for me to change? What behaviors do you wish I would do more? Less?
Catch-All: Is there anything else you’d like to talk about with me?
After completing the activity (question and answer session), reflect (in writing) on what you learned. See Reflection Paper Instructions below.
Reflection Paper Instructions: This Reflection Paper consists of two parts. The total paper should be six pages in length.
Part 1: Write a 5-page, double-spaced essay in which you:
Describe the relationship you have with the other person.
Summarize your answers and the other person’s answers to the questions above.
Summarize and reflect on the results from “How Others Perceive I Act in Conflict Survey.” What did you learn from the results? How were the survey results different from the one you took at the start of the term: “How I Act in Conflict?”
Reflect on what you learned about this specific relationship and relationship enhancement in general.
Identify strategies and steps you and the other person will take to improve your relationship.
Demonstrate your understanding of relevant conflict theories and concepts.
Incorporate terminology from the text and class.
