Read the instructions!
The paper is supposed to be 10-12 pages long, but it is currently 15 pages long. Please fix what the teacher’s notes say and clean it up.
Notes:
Topics and subtopics of the paper are clearly described, discussed, and are well structured. Importance of the topic was demonstrated, although I got the impression that the effects of SM on self-esteem were more significant than the effects on motivation. The paper reads well overall. The use of words like “youngsters” was the only instance in which I felt the paper didn’t read in a professional manner. Some elaboration on acronyms could also be helpful for readers; such as inserting “(fear of missing out)” after using term FOMO – at least for the first time it is used so that the reference has been established – another acronym that may require elaboration would be “SMI”. Also some slight grammatical corrections would help the paper to read better (mostly commas being in wrong places or absent). I would say ideas/positions/arguments were effectively expressed in this paper. In text citations and overall format looked good to me. A number of the reference list citations were improperly formatted – capitalizations were incorrect. Other small notes: Conclusion read more like an introduction to me. The small note on page 3 about social media use and gangs seemed out of place and there was no source cited for this statement – evidence would be helpful. Adding page breaks might help to make the formatting a bit cleaner. Overall I’d say this paper is well written and is a really good start! It just needs a few adjustments. 🙂 Good job!
