Please add to the attached essay using my professor’s comments and make it a total of at least 2000 words.
Purpose
This assignment is the final step of the process. Make your Paper 1 into a Final Paper paper (2000-2700 words). Add a few more sources to your paper 1 assignment and make it into an actual scholarly paper. Please go to Canvas and check my comments on your paper 1. Fix these points I suggest when you write your first paper into this paper so that you can get the highest possible score for this assignment. You can swap the primary and/or the scholarly sources you used for your paper 1 with other materials. But you need to keep Darwin as one of your primary sources.
Please read the submission format carefully. Check the evaluation rubrics to see what points your paper will be graded.
Tasks
In this paper, you should:
Expand your paper 1 into this final paper add the following sources in the main argument.
Make substantial use of at least three scholarly sources from class to support your analysis. You have already used two scholarly sources in Paper 1. You can stick to the same sources or change them.
Kaplan and Rogers,
Keller,
Noble,
Schiebinger,
Gero,
Haas et. al.
Roughgarden, and
Haraway
Use at least two primary sources from our class reading/screening list (you can use more than two if you want). Keep Darwin as one of your primary sources. You can use the same source you used for Paper 1, but you can change them if you want.
Darwin,
Gamble,
Oakley,
Slocum.
Make sure you cite Darwin from the assigned section from The Descent of Man. If you take other courses with Darwin, then, make sure your analysis would be different.
The paper should have the following parts: 1) a clear introduction, 2) main bodies, 3) a conclusion, and 4) a work-cited page.
Your argument must analyze the meaning of the primary sources concerning the topic you choose. This must include clarifying how the primary sources are taking specific positions in relation to the relevant issues.
You must discuss the primary sources in historical order.
Possible topics (You can combine any topics or create your own)
You can change the topic if you want.
Feminine identity.
Masculine identity.
Biology vs. environment.
Evolution and progress.
Scientific and technological competence.
Criteria for Success
The successful paper contains the following:
Contains at least the minimum requirement of sources (two primary sources, including Darwin, and two scholarly sources from the class readings).
Fulfill formatting requirements (word counts, font, etc.)
Has clear and correct historical order of your primary sources (so you do not jump back and forth in time without a clear explanation).
Evidence is properly and carefully analyzed and has directly connected to the research questions you are asking.
The analysis is strong and compelling, and you are clearly showing what your Evidence suggests.
Has a clear paragraph for the introduction and conclusion.
PEAR Paragraph
Point: the first few sentences in the paragraph where
you lay out the next point in your argument.
∗ The point should not be simply a plot point or
description of the source; instead, the point needs to
clarify some aspect of the primary source’s meaning
and importance.
∗ You can use the same point for a few paragraphs.
——relate this with your argument!
Evidence: This is the place you lay out the evidence from one of
your primary sources that you will use to prove the point of the
paragraph.
∗ Be sure to introduce your evidence. When introducing your
evidence be sure that the historical context of the primary
source is clear.
∗ Clarify where in the primary source your evidence is coming from
(e.g. the chapter, the beginning of the text, or final scene)
∗ Make sure that your evidence is specific and detailed.
∗ But be sure that it does not be too long. Use a couple of the best
pieces per paragraph.
∗ Always cite the sources.
Analysis: This is where you break down and explain
your evidence, walking the reader through the logic of
how the evidence proves your point.
∗ You have to show the reader the significance of your
evidence for your argument.
∗ Do not jump from your evidence to your conclusions:
carefully go through the evidence in detail and explain
the reader exactly what it shows. The analysis should be
meticulous and detailed.
Reminder: In the last couple of sentences in the
paragraph, sum up what you have shown and remind the
reader of your point.
PEAR paragraph is not a rigid rule but rather a general
guideline when structuring a critical analysis paper. But
remember you always follow:
1. Every body paragraph needs to have a point
2. The evidence from your primary sources must always be
presented clearly before you engage in your analysis.
Professor comment for paper 1:
Don’t divide your main argument based on the questions suggested in the research topics. Stick to the format we are practicing for this class. (PEAR)
Structure:
1) Modify the paragraph order of the main argument:
– The sources’ chronological order needs to be corrected. Remember, you need to organize your primary sources in historical order (the older one comes first), and then you need to add the scholarly sources based on the time these sources argue about. The order has to be:
– Intro
– Keller paragraph (talks about the 17th century)
– Darwin (1874) PEAR+Kaplan and Rogers
– Gamble (1916)PEAR+Kaplan and Rogers
– Conclusion
2) Modify Your Introduction
– Minor edit needed. Please check my comments on your paper.
3) Rewrite and Relocate Keller paragraph (no PEAR)
– Add more details on what happened in the 17th century using Keller. Add page number where you are summarizing. Bring this paragraph right after introduction.
4) Rewrite Darwin PEAREAR
– You didn’t use proper PEAR format. Darwin is your primary source. You need to show the evidence. Quote his words! Then, add your analysis. The quote from p. 48 isn’t strong enough to support your argument. You need to add more quotes from Darwin that clarifies why males became selfish and aggressive. Remove Gamble reference from Darwin paragraph. You go back and forth between Darwin and Gamble. No, combine Darwin in one paragraph, then move on to Gamble in the next.
5) Rewrite Gamble PEAR
– Combine all the Gamble reference that scatter around into one big chunk using PEAR format. You will need to edit and modify the words/sentences.
6) Rewrite conclusion
– You need to bring primary sources again with a few important arguments from your main body. The conclusion should match the introduction.
7) Rewrite the work-cited page
-Missing information. Check the last pages of the syllabus for the proper citation information. It is all in there! Follow the MLA format.
