Imagine that your workplace has experienced significant change recently, and your department is expected to respond to change with innovation. Your immediate manager has asked you to determine one specific innovation for your department; you will be responsible for the implementation of this innovation. This report should not include a recommendation, but instead should be strictly informative, offering a detailed comparison.
ASSIGNMENT: In Unit 2, you drafted an informative report in which you researched several methods for implementing your chosen innovation and compared and contrasted two of them based on factors that you chose. In this assignment, you will revise your Touchstone 2.2 submission using the revision strategies you learned in Unit 3. This revision should reflect significant changes from your first draft and should incorporate the feedback you received on Touchstone 2.2. Review the rubric comments and summary feedback you received on your Touchstone 2.2 draft to deepen and extend your analysis of your topic. Submit a revision of your Touchstone 2 draft that reflects this feedback. Include a copy of your Touchstone 2.2 draft below the Reflection Questions for this unit.
In order to foster learning and growth, all work you submit must be newly written specifically for this course. Any plagiarized or recycled work will result in a Plagiarism Detected alert. Review Touchstones: Academic Integrity Guidelines for more about plagiarism and the Plagiarism Detected alert. For guidance on the use of generative AI technology, review Ethical Standards and Appropriate Use of AI.
A. Assignment Guidelines
DIRECTIONS: All writers revise and edit their work as part of the writing process. For Touchstone 3, submit a revised version of your Touchstone 2.2 composition. The process of revising involves “re-thinking” your essay, while editing focuses on changes at the sentence level. Your revision should reflect your attention on the following:
Focus
Structure
Flow
Clarity
Style
Word Choice
Sentence Variety
As you consider possible revisions and edits, evaluate how your essay can be improved in each of the areas above. Focus your attention on the areas that would benefit most from revising and editing. You can add, delete, or move text as you revise your essay.
Note the following revising and editing guidelines:
Do not draft a new essay. You must revise and edit your Touchstone 2.2 draft. Depending upon the effectiveness of the 2.2 draft, however, major changes such as refocusing or restructuring may be required.
Allow time between drafts so that you can see your original work from a new perspective.
Revising and editing are different from proofreading; however, be sure to proofread your revised essay before you submit it.
Remember to also answer the reflection questions listed below.
B. Reflection Questions
DIRECTIONS: Below your assignment, include answers to all of the following reflection questions.
How much time did you spend revising and editing your draft? Which revision strategies did you use, and which of them worked best for you? (2-3 sentences)
Compare your draft to your revision. How did your essay improve? Provide specific examples of the different revision areas (e.g., structure, focus, clarity, etc.) that you focused on. (3-4 sentences)
Think about the entire process of drafting and revising this informative composition. What did you learn about your writing process or yourself as a writer? For example, did any part of the process surprise you or reveal something unexpected? (2-3 sentences)
C. Rubric
Advanced (100%) Proficient (85%) Acceptable (75%) Needs Improvement (50%) Non-Performance (0%)
Revising
Demonstrate comprehensive “re-visioning” of the composition as appropriate. (25%)
Accomplishes all of the following: Demonstrates evidence of comprehensive re-visioning of the draft; makes changes to organization, where needed or appropriate; makes changes to focus and clarity where needed or appropriate. Accomplishes 2-3 of the following: Demonstrates evidence of comprehensive re-visioning of the draft; makes changes to organization, where needed or appropriate; makes changes to focus and clarity where needed or appropriate. Accomplishes 2 of the following: Demonstrates evidence of comprehensive re-visioning of the draft; makes changes to organization, where needed or appropriate; makes changes to focus and clarity where needed or appropriate. Accomplishes 1 of the following: Demonstrates evidence of comprehensive re-visioning of the draft; makes changes to organization, where needed or appropriate; makes changes to focus and clarity where needed or appropriate. Revisions are absent or did not address problems in the draft.
Editing
Demonstrate comprehensive sentence-level edits throughout the composition as appropriate. (25%)
Accomplishes all of the following: Demonstrates evidence of comprehensive edits to the draft; edits include adjustments to word choice where needed or appropriate; edits include adjustments to sentence completeness where needed or appropriate; edits include adjustments to sentence variety and/or style where needed or appropriate. Accomplishes 3-4 of the following: Demonstrates evidence of comprehensive edits to the draft; edits include adjustments to word choice where needed or appropriate; edits include adjustments to sentence completeness where needed or appropriate; edits include adjustments to sentence variety and/or style where needed or appropriate. Accomplishes 2-3 of the following: Demonstrates evidence of comprehensive edits to the draft; edits include adjustments to word choice where needed or appropriate; edits include adjustments to sentence completeness where needed or appropriate; edits include adjustments to sentence variety and/or style where needed or appropriate. Accomplishes 1-2 of the following: Demonstrates evidence of comprehensive edits to the draft; edits include adjustments to word choice where needed or appropriate; edits include adjustments to sentence completeness where needed or appropriate; edits include adjustments to sentence variety and/or style where needed or appropriate. Edits are absent or did not address the problems in the draft.
Research
Use and appropriately cite research sources to support an informative composition. (13%)
Accomplishes all of the following: Cites all outside sources following APA conventions; references 2-4 credible primary or secondary sources. Accomplishes 1-2 of the following: Cites all outside sources following APA conventions; references 2-4 credible primary or secondary sources. Accomplishes 1 of the following: Cites all outside sources following APA conventions; references 2-4 credible primary or secondary sources. Partially accomplishes 1 of the following: Cites all outside sources following APA conventions; references 2-4 credible primary or secondary sources. Does not cite sources, or citation is consistently inappropriate. Does not reference sources and/or sources are not credible or appropriate.
Organization
Exhibit competent organization, flow, and writing techniques. (13%)
Accomplishes all of the following: Includes an introduction with a strong thesis statement; includes an adequate number of body paragraphs (4-6); includes effective topic sentences for all body paragraphs; includes a conclusion with an effective closing thought; the sequence of sentences and paragraphs is logical. Accomplishes 4-5 of the following: Includes an introduction with a strong thesis statement; includes an adequate number of body paragraphs (4-6); includes effective topic sentences for all body paragraphs; includes a conclusion with an effective closing thought; the sequence of sentences and paragraphs is logical. Accomplishes 3-4 of the following: Includes an introduction with a strong thesis statement; includes an adequate number of body paragraphs (4-6); includes effective topic sentences for all body paragraphs; includes a conclusion with an effective closing thought; the sequence of sentences and paragraphs is logical. Accomplishes 1-3 of the following: Includes an introduction with a strong thesis statement; includes an adequate number of body paragraphs (4-6); includes effective topic sentences for all body paragraphs; includes a conclusion with an effective closing thought; the sequence of sentences and paragraphs is logical. Is missing multiple required components of a composition or all of the components are ineffective; the sequence of sentences and/or paragraphs is consistently illogical.
Style and Tone
Establish an informative tone and make thoughtful choices. (12%)
Accomplishes all of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful and effective word choices; uses a wide variety of sentence structures; establishes a consistently objective and impersonal tone that is appropriate to an informative composition. Accomplishes 2-3 of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful and effective word choices; uses a wide variety of sentence structures; establishes a consistently objective and impersonal tone that is appropriate to an informative composition. Accomplishes 2 of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful and effective word choices; uses a wide variety of sentence structures; establishes a consistently objective and impersonal tone that is appropriate to an informative composition. Accomplishes 1 of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful and effective word choices; uses a wide variety of sentence structures; establishes a consistently objective and impersonal tone that is appropriate to an informative composition. Consistently demonstrates poor word choices and/or repetitive sentence structures; tone is consistently subjective and the composition is dominated by personal observations and opinions.
Conventions
Minimize errors in standard English grammar, punctuation, and spelling. (8%)
Includes virtually no minor errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Includes fewer than 5 minor errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Includes 5 minor errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Includes more than 5 minor errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. There are consistent significant errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, capitalization, formatting, and usage.
Reflection (5 points)
Answer reflection questions thoroughly and thoughtfully. (4%)
Accomplishes all of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful reflection; consistently includes insights, observations, and/or examples in all responses; follows or exceeds response length guidelines. Accomplishes 2-3 of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful reflection; consistently includes insights, observations, and/or examples in all responses; follows or exceeds response length guidelines. Accomplishes 2 of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful reflection; consistently includes insights, observations, and/or examples in all responses; follows or exceeds response length guidelines. Accomplishes 1-2 of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful reflection; consistently includes insights, observations, and/or examples in all responses; follows or exceeds response length guidelines. Does not answer the majority of reflection questions or the majority of answers do not follow response length guidelines.
D. Requirements
The following requirements must be met for your submission to be graded:
Double-space the outline and use one-inch margins.
Indent the first line of each paragraph by ½ inch.
Use a readable 12-point font.
All writing must be appropriate for an academic context.
Composition must be original and written for this assignment.
Use of generative chatbot artificial intelligence tools (ChatGPT, Bing Chat, Bard) in place of original writing is strictly prohibited for this assignment.
Plagiarism of any kind is strictly prohibited.
Submission must include your name, the name of the course, the date, and the title of your composition.
Submission must include your informative comparison/contrast revision, reflection questions, and Touchstone 2.2 draft.
Include all of the assignment components in a single file.
Acceptable file formats include .doc and .docx.
E. Additional Resources
The following resources will be helpful to you as you work on this assignment:
Purdue Online Writing Lab’s APA Formatting and Style Guide
This site includes a comprehensive overview of APA style, as well as individual pages with guidelines for specific citation types.
Frequently Asked Questions About APA Style
This page on the official APA website addresses common questions related to APA formatting. The “References,” “Punctuation,” and “Grammar and Writing Style” sections will be the most useful to your work in this course.
APA Style: Quick Answers—References
This page on the official APA Style website provides numerous examples of reference list formatting for various source types
This the grade given and insight and along with the paper that needs to be revised
49/80 that’s 61%
Based on the rubric, here’s how grader arrived at your score.
Rubric Category Points Percentage Result
Comparison/Contrast Elements 10.0 25% Needs Improvement (50%) – Accomplishes 1-2 of the following: Makes a clear and meaningful connection between two implementation methods; effectively organizes body paragraphs in one of the two prescribed ways; consistently uses transitional words or phrases to comparison/contrast ideas.
Hannah added: The report seems to be descriptive rather than comparative. The focus is on OnPolicy, but what are you comparing it two? There should be two clear innovations. Consider how each option meets or does not meet the needs of your organization. This will better illustrate their similarities and differences.
Thesis Statement 5.2 13% Needs Improvement (50%) – Accomplishes 1-2 of the following: Has created a clear, focused, and detailed thesis statement expressed in a single sentence; thesis states the central claim of the essay; thesis statement effectively communicates the two subjects that will be compared or contrasted and the two or three main points of comparison/contrast
Hannah added: It is not clear what two innovations are being compared/contrasted. It would be helpful if the thesis appeared early in the report, and it clearly presented the two innovations. Consider using this stem to help guide you: “To solve the issue of X, our workplace needs to chose between Y or Z, depending on A, B, and C.”
Research 7.6 19% Needs Improvement (50%) – Partially accomplishes 1 of the following: Cites all outside sources following APA conventions; references 2-4 credible primary or secondary sources.
Hannah added: Only one source is cited; the assignment directions require a minimum of two. While there is a reference page, there are no in-text citations incorporated into the body of the essay. Without these citations, the reader cannot tell what information came from which source. Please review the OWL for guidance on this component: www.owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/apa_style/apa_style_introduction.html
Organization 5.2 13% Needs Improvement (50%) – Accomplishes 1-3 of the following: Includes an introduction with a strong thesis statement; includes an adequate number of body paragraphs (4-6); includes effective topic sentences for all body paragraphs; includes a conclusion with an effective closing thought; the sequence of sentences and paragraphs is logical.
Hannah added: On track, but be careful not to let organizational issues get in the way of good ideas. The report needs to have a clear thesis statement that identifies two potential innovations, and it should make use of either the point by point method or the block method.
Style and Tone 8.2 12% Proficient (85%) – Accomplishes 2-3 of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful and effective word choices; uses a wide variety of sentence structures; establishes a consistently objective and impersonal tone that is appropriate to an informative composition.
Hannah added: Language is generally clear and effective but is more descriptive than comparative.
Conventions 8.2 12% Proficient (85%) – Includes fewer than 5 minor errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
Hannah added: Nice job with grammar and conventions overall. Be sure to separate ideas into separate paragraphs, and be sure that the first line of every paragraph is indented.
Reflection 4.8 6% Advanced (100%) – Accomplishes all of the following: Demonstrates thoughtful reflection; consistently includes insights, observations, and/or examples in all responses; follows or exceeds response length guidelines.
Hannah added: Thank you for submitting your reflection responses. These illustrate your thought process as you completed this task.
FEEDBACK:
Thank you for submitting your C/C rough draft. The report has potential, but is lacking a clear, comparative thesis – without this, the reader has no map to guide them through the rest of the report. Because revising and editing is nearly 50% of the next assignment’s weight, I encourage you to focus on the following:
-Be sure the thesis is clear and identifies two potential innovations by the first paragraph
-Make specific connections to your workplace’s needs
-Have at least two sources cited and integrate direct quotes to illustrate and contextualize the support
I have provided detailed feedback within each rubric component, so please review that thoroughly. Thank you,
Foxx Inc. has been going through several changes throughout the company and one change that we have been deciding to implement has now become our main goal to upgrade our process management system by moving from conventional procedural libraries to an online system that is available to all staff members. Our technical team is now working hard to create a custom solution that will meet our unique operating requirements. This method guarantees that all the software’s features are in line with Foxx Inc.’s needs and workflows. Meanwhile, we are looking into OnPolicy’s DMS as a substitute, utilizing its well-established framework to expedite deployment and guarantee strong security measures. Strict security measures to protect sensitive documents, easy usage to encourage staff adoption, scalability to support future organizational expansion, and compliance with regulations will all be given top priority during our decision-making process. We want to put in place a system that not only increases productivity but also strengthens reliability and compliance throughout the whole organization by carefully assessing these variables.” When handling classified procedural records, security is crucial. Strong security features including encrypted data transfer and secure servers that adhere to SSAE 16 requirements are provided by OnPolicy’s document management software. Because it uses role-based access control, managers may designate certain rights according to the responsibilities that users play inside the company. Moreover, OnPolicy’s thorough audit trails monitor document access and updates, guaranteeing accountability and openness in our document management procedures. On the other hand, our custom-built solution will make use of our technical team’s knowledge to put in place a customized security
check system. Before allowing access to sensitive materials, this system will confirm that workers have confidential clearances. This will guarantee compliance with internal security guidelines and legal obligations. Usability is essential since our workforce varies and includes both tech-savvy and non-tech-savvy workers due to the diversity and inclusion that we have in the company. The software from OnPolicy has user-friendly interfaces that are easy to use and accessible. With strong access restrictions to guarantee effectiveness and consistency in the administration of policies and procedures, its Software-as-a-Service (SaaS) model allows global access and changes across several locations and departments. Although our specially designed solution can be tailored to meet certain operational and organizational needs, thorough interface design and user experience testing are necessary to guarantee usability for all user demographics. Foxx Inc. must be scalable as it grows internationally. Scalability is made possible via OnPolicy’s SaaS solution, which eliminates the need for new hardware purchases. As our business expands, it facilitates changes across several locations and divisions, guaranteeing that policy and procedure use stays effective and uniform. In contrast, while a custom-built solution offers flexibility to tailor to specific organizational needs, ongoing maintenance and scalability adjustments may be necessary to accommodate future growth and organizational changes. Another key factor is compliance with regulatory standards such as ISO, HIPAA, and others is essential for our industry. OnPolicy’s software is designed with built-in compliance features including required reading acknowledgments, fast document searching, and dynamic hyperlinking to related
documents. It simplifies audits by providing comprehensive audit trails and ensuring adherence to document retention policies. Similarly, our custom-built solution will incorporate strong compliance functionalities tailored to meet industry standards and internal policies, ensuring effective policy and procedure management. In conclusion, Foxx Inc.’s choice between OnPolicy’s Document Management Software and a specially designed online process management solution depends on how well it satisfies our requirements for usability, scalability, security, and compliance. With its proven record of accomplishment and its strong compliance capabilities and user-friendly interfaces that guarantee dependability and rapid deployment, OnPolicy stands out. This off-the-shelf technology offers a strong basis for increasing efficiency and simplifying procedures throughout our company. On the other hand, choosing a custom-built solution gives us the ability to carefully customize every element—from security protocols to interface design—to meet Foxx Inc.’s particular operating requirements. Maximum flexibility and integration possibilities are promised by this custom method, guaranteeing that our systems will smoothly adapt to our changing business needs. We will give top priority to finding a middle ground between the short-term advantages of a tried-and-true solution such as OnPolicy and the long-term benefits of a customized system. This plan seeks to maintain the greatest levels of security and compliance across Foxx Inc., provide seamless integration, and improve process management. By concentrating on these crucial factors, we want to strengthen current productivity and procedures while also strengthening our systems’ ability to weather evolving challenges in the future. This pledge demonstrates Foxx
Inc.’s commitment to using technology sensibly to promote operational excellence and hold onto our industry leadership.
Reflection Questions
Organization of Body Paragraphs: I organized my body paragraphs using the point-by-point method to directly compare OnPolicy’s features with those of a custom-built solution. This method ensured a clear comparison across security, usability, scalability, and compliance factors, facilitating an objective study.
Informative Mode Writing Experience: Writing informatively required presenting information without expressing individual opinions. It was different from persuasive writing as it focused on objective analysis and factual comparisons rather than advocating for a specific solution. I also used a little information I have from my place of employment working with classified documents and security clearances and researched what other places use for classified documents.
Use of Technology: Technology played a vital role in researching OnPolicy’s
features and understanding its application in policy and procedure management. It also facilitated drafting and editing this report, ensuring clarity and consistency in presenting comparative insights.
Challenges in Drafting: Drafting the report was challenging because I did not have extensive knowledge of the topic I chose, which was proposing a solution to a work issue we have at my current job that I would not have the say so to implement. Researching solutions from other companies and understanding their information was also tough. It involved understanding technical details, comparing features, and figuring out how each solution could fit our needs. Gathering and analyzing all this information required careful attention to ensure accuracy and relevance. Despite these challenges, the process helped me learn and develop a clear proposal for addressing our workplace issue.
References
OnPolicy. (n.d.). OnPolicy Document Management Software. Retrieved June 25, 2024, from https://www.onpolicy.com
