I need to edit this paper for an assignment and provide feedback to a peer.
this is the editing hand out :Peer Editing
Research Paper
Please thoroughly and honestly review your peer’s paper, and answer the following questions regarding their work. Please note any additional comments, questions, or questions in the spaces provided or in the margins.
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1. Introduction: _____ _____
a. Does the paper contain a thesis? (Please underline it.)
b. Does the thesis take a clear stance, and/or establish a debatable point? _____ _____
c. Does the intro interest you as the reader? _____ _____
Does it contain a unique hook? _____ _____
d. Are the main points of the paper clearly established? _____ _____
2. Body Paragraphs:
a. Is each topic sentence a clearly defined point? _____ _____
b. Does each topic sentence support the thesis? _____ _____
c. Do the details of the paragraph support
the topic sentence accurately? _____ _____
d. Is there enough detailed information from each source to support the main idea? _____ _____
e. Are the quotations properly introduced, cited, and explained. _____ _____
f. Is all paraphrased and summarized information properly cited and explained. ______ ______
g. Does each transition sentence conclude the topic and introduce the next topic? _____ _____
3. Conclusion:
a. Is the thesis restated accurately? _____ _____
b. Are the main points restated? _____ _____
c. Is there a strong concluding sentence? _____ _____
– refers to hook, a quote, etc.
4. Mechanics:
a. Are the author’s grammar and punctuation correct? _____ _____
b. Are any words misspelled? _____ _____
c. Does the author use personal pronouns and/or contractions? _____ _____
Please use the remaining space to discuss any questions, suggestions, or comments you have about your peer’s paper. Feel free to include positive and negative comments and suggestions. Please refer to specific parts of the paper, so that the writer is clear about what you are referring to.
This is the research paper:
Exploring the Detrimental Effects of Hormonal Birth Control
Hormonal birth control comes in several methods such as birth control pills, patches,
injections, and hormonal intrauterine devices (IUDs), and has become a cornerstone of
reproductive health care for millions of individuals worldwide. With its ability to effectively
prevent pregnancy by altering hormone levels, birth control is widely utilized by women of
various ages, backgrounds, and reproductive goals. Its accessibility, ease of use, and
effectiveness have contributed to its widespread adoption as a primary contraceptive method in
many societies, shaping reproductive choices and family planning practices globally. Birth
control methods, while crucial for family planning, can cause various harmful effects. Hormonal
contraceptives disrupt the body’s natural hormone balance, often leading to irregular menstrual
cycles and mood swings. Lifelong side effects include cardiovascular risks such as blood clots
and stroke, bone density loss, and can be associated with certain cancers. Mental health
implications include increased risk of depression and anxiety, decreased libido, and impacts on
overall quality of life. The use of hormonal birth control presents complex risks, including
hormonal imbalance, lifelong side effects, and impacts on mental health, underscoring the urgent
need for comprehensive understanding, awareness, and alternative contraceptive options.
Hormonal contraceptives alter natural hormone levels primarily through the introduction
of synthetic hormones into the body. Most hormonal contraceptives contain either estrogen,
progestin, or a combination of both. These synthetic hormones mimic the effects of naturally
occurring hormones, primarily those involved in the menstrual cycle and ovulation. As stated in
the National Library of Medicine, “Hormone-based contraception disrupts hormonal balance,
creating artificial states of anovulation and threatening women’s health” (Women’s health,
hormonal balance, and personal autonomy). The use of hormonal birth control methods can lead
to various potential consequences, including irregular menstruation, decreased libido, and
fertility issues. Irregular menstruation is a common side effect of hormonal contraceptives,
causing a hormonal imbalance. Additionally, some individuals may experience a decrease in
libido, which can affect sexual desire and satisfaction. Long term use may delay the return of
normal ovulatory cycles after discontinuation, potentially leading to fertility issues.
Some women experience weight gain while on hormonal birth control. This can be due
to factors such as fluid retention, increased appetite, or changes in metabolism. While weight
gain is not a universal side effect and varies among individuals, it can be distressing for those
who experience it. Lastly, the use of this medication can impact hair health, leading to hair loss
or thinning in some individuals. This is often related to changes in hormone levels, particularly
fluctuations in androgens (male hormones) and their effects on hair follicles. While these
instances are typically temporary and reversible upon discontinuation of the contraceptive, there
will likely still be a significant concern for affected individuals, affecting an abundance of
women’s confidence and overall health.
The long-term impact of hormonal birth control remains a subject of ongoing study and
debate. The research indicating an increased risk of breast cancer, cardiovascular diseases, and
bone density loss associated with birth control is undeniably concerning and warrants serious
consideration. There is also an increased risk of cervical cancer in women, as stated by
MayoClinic, “Scientific evidence suggests using birth control pills for longer periods of time
increases your risk of some cancers, such as cervical cancer, but the risk declines after stopping
use of birth control pills” (Birth control pill FAQ: Benefits, risks and choices 2023). These
potential negative effects, particularly when compounded over time, stress the importance of
fully understanding the danger of hormonal contraceptives on women’s health. The heightened
risk of breast and cervical cancer is alarming, and the chance of cardiovascular complications,
including blood clots and strokes, poses significant health risks, especially for individuals with
existing risk factors. The impact on bone density raises concerns about long-term skeletal health,
potentially leading to osteoporosis and fractures later in life. While birth control has undoubtedly
revolutionized reproductive health and provided numerous benefits, including empowering
women to make informed choices about their bodies, it is essential not to ignore or downplay the
potential negative consequences.
The correlation between hormonal birth control and mood disorders, particularly
depression and anxiety, presents a concerning aspect of contraceptive use that warrants careful
consideration. While not all individuals experience adverse effects, numerous studies suggest a
potential link between birth control and increased risk of mood disturbances. Fluctuations in
estrogen and progesterone levels, which are inherent to many hormonal contraceptive methods,
alter neurotransmitter activity and impact mood regulation. For individuals already exposed to
mental health conditions, the introduction of hormonal contraceptives will likely increase
symptoms or trigger the onset of depression and anxiety. These negative effects can significantly
impact the individuals’ quality of life, affecting their relationships, work, and overall well-being.
The psychological impact, such as concerns about side effects or fears related to contraceptive
failure, can also contribute to feelings of anxiety and distress. A survey- based study was
completed by 188 women using hormonal contraceptives, the results read, “Of the 188 responses
included in the analysis, 43.6% reported experiencing mood changes as a side effect of HC at
some point in their lives. The most common reason participants cited for discontinuing or
switching contraception methods was side effects (48.3%)” (Psychological side effects of
hormonal contraception: A disconnect between patients and providers). These medications can
influence the structure and function of brain regions involved in emotional processing, such as
the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Fluctuations in hormone levels throughout the menstrual
cycle, which are suppressed or modified by hormonal contraceptives, may further contribute to
changes in mood and affective states. These hormonal changes are found to play a significant
role in the alterations in mood and behavior experienced by some women using these
contraceptives.
In conclusion, While hormonal birth control offers the benefit of preventing unintended
pregnancies, it also presents concerns regarding mental health, hormonal imbalance and lifelong
health conditions or side effects. It is imperative for healthcare providers to engage in
conversations with patients about the risks of hormonal birth control. The promotion of
awareness and education surrounding alternative contraceptive options, such as non-hormonal
methods is essential in empowering individuals to make informed choices about their
reproductive health. By creating a collaborative approach to decision-making and promoting
access to a diverse range of contraceptive options, we can ensure that everyone can receive
personalized healthcare that prioritizes both efficacy and well-being.
Work Cited
Segarra, Ignacio. “Women’s Health, Hormonal Balance, and Personal Autonomy.” Frontiers in
Medicine, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 30 June 2023.
Mayo Clinic Staff. “Birth Control Pill FAQ: Benefits, Risks and Choices.” Mayo Clinic, Mayo
Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 10 May 2023.
Martell, Sarah, et al. “Psychological Side Effects of Hormonal Contraception: A Disconnect
between Patients and Providers.” Contraception and Reproductive Medicine, U.S. National
Library of Medicine, 17 Jan. 2023.
