I have to revise multiple paragraphs of my essay based off the comments left by my
professor, also write a 600 word reflection based off of how the essay was revised. Please
just read the comments on the essay and then change it based off of what she says.
Here is what needs to be revised- REVISION-
Evolution of Gang Culture in New York City:
New York City, famous for its mix of cultures, has seen big changes in how gangs are formed. Instead of having strict leaders and rules like before, gangs are now more like loose groups that change a lot. This change is mostly because of social media, new types of music, and different ways people are acting (Sutherland et al., 2021). In the past, gangs had a strong leader who made all the decisions. But now, gangs are less strict about who’s in charge, making it harder for the police to catch them. The U.S. Department of Justice (2019) says that gangs today are more flexible and can adapt quickly, which is a challenge for law enforcement.
Social media and certain kinds of music have a big impact on gang culture now. Sites like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter are where gangs show off, challenge other gangs, and find new members. A report from Fox 5 New York (2023) shows how the internet helps gangs promote violence and plan attacks. Also, drill music, which talks a lot about gang violence, is used to make gang life look cool and push people towards crime. Hochul (2023) mentions that drill music often talks about being in a gang in a way that makes it seem appealing, making violence and bad views of gangs worse. It’s especially worrying that gangs are drawing in young people, including kids, who are looking for a place to fit in, even if it means doing illegal things. The Council on Criminal Justice (2024) points out that social media is a key way gangs are getting young people to join them, offering them a sense of importance and respect at a high cost.
Effects of Gang Violence on Crime Rates:
Gang violence in New York City makes neighborhoods feel a lot less safe than just changing the city’s crime numbers. We’re going to look closely at how gang fights affect different crimes, especially those with guns. We’ll also see how they impact crimes against property, drug crimes, and make people too scared to help the police (Stuart, 2020). The stats show that a big chunk of the city’s violent crimes are linked to gangs, according to NYPD’s report from January 24. It points out that gang fights, especially for territory or revenge, lead to shootings and killings, endangering not just gang members but also innocent people who might get caught in the middle. The Council on Criminal Justice (2024) found that more gang activities and the pandemic have made violent crimes shoot up in big cities across the U.S.
Gang violence also leads to more crimes like theft and drug offenses. Gangs do illegal stuff to show their power and make money, which makes drug-related crimes and violence more common. The U.S. Department of Justice (2019) talks about how gangs fight over areas where they can sell drugs the most, and this can lead to more violence and crime in those places. Gangs might also rob or commit other crimes to pay their bills or show they’re strong. What makes this worse is the fear and intimidation people feel in gang areas. Gangs create a scary atmosphere where people are too afraid to talk to the police because they’re scared of what the gangs might do back to them. Hochul (2023) points out that gang violence hurts the trust between the community and the police, making it harder to keep everyone safe. When police and other groups can’t work together well, it’s tougher to stop gang violence and make neighborhoods safer.
