I attached my rough draft. Please add appendics at the end as my teacher suggested. Also, here are all of her recommendations to add or change to my draft: First, some of the aspects of your Research Paper were effective: -You have a title and used MLA formatting -You followed the IMRD format and organized your paper well; thanks for using subject headings to emphasize these different sections. -You described your community using the six criteria described in Melzer’s article and provided specific examples -You cited your sources Third, I have made a list of questions and suggestions for revision that I’d like you to consider as you compose the third, “final” draft of your Research Paper: -In move #1 (establish the territory) of your Literature Review, could you introduce and define your framing concept? For example, if you’re using rhetorical analysis (Carroll) as your framing concept, you could summarize the main rhetorical concepts that Carroll describes (e.g., the rhetorical situation, rhetorical appeals). When we analyze the “rhetoric” of a genre, what does that mean? Please tell your readers what you’re paying attention to (e.g., claims of the sermons). -So far, in your literature review, you’ve summarized three relevant secondary sources. Now, you need to include move #2 (establish a gap) and move #3 (fill the gap). To do this, please share your research question and explain how your primary research (e.g., rhetorical analyses of sermons and worship song lyrics) fills that gap. -For your Methods section, you need to explain HOW you collected and analyzed your primary and secondary sources. For example, what key words did you use to search for your secondary sources/articles? Did you use the library databases? What criteria did you use to determine if a source was relevant or credible enough? …and so on. Please see the Research Paper assignment sheet (page 2) for a full list of questions you can answer in this section. -Please move your summaries about your secondary sources UP to the “Literature Review” section. Then, please move your summaries and conclusions about your primary sources DOWN to your “Results” section. Again, the Methods section is a place for you to explain your data collection procedures, not to share your findings. Also, please remove the sentences about how each source is useful for your project. (That information was just for the Annotated Bibliography assignment.) -In your Results section, you did a good job of summarizing one of Pastor Daniel’s sermons and his lesson about the “farmer carries.” Thank you for using some of the language of your framing concept (e.g., emotional appeal, or pathos) to analyze this example. Now, you need to analyze AT LEAST TWO MORE primary sources. Is there another sermon you’re going to analyze? And are you also analyzing the claims, pathos, ethos, and logos of worship songs from your church? I don’t see any of those analyzed here. -In your Discussion section, could you please recommend future research that could be done on this topic? How can other researchers build upon your Findings? -In your Works Cited, please arrange your citations in alphabetical order. Also, make sure you add citations for any worship songs you end up analyzing. -Remember to add your Appendices (i.e., copies of your textual/ rhetorical analysis questions and screenshots of the genres you analyzed) to your next draft!
