Here is the response from my professor:
“This is a good topic. It is a bit challenging as a topic because — as you say — it is extremely complex. Right now, the paper doesn’t work as an essay because there is no specific thesis. Instead of saying , “I will” in your intro, and instead of framing the paper as a promise to inform the reader about crime, work on stating a specific solution to the problem. It doesn’t have to solve the entire problem, but what is one step that can be taken. Think of this from a public policy perspective and don’t advise the reader directly. For example, if you think educating people about avoiding crime is a concrete and helpful step to reducing crime, then your thesis might be argument in favor of a program to educate residents. If you think there is a better law enforcement approach, then what would that be? If you are not finding information in your research about best practices and crime rates, then keep looking on this topic. Right now, your sources are mostly about specific crime incidents and not from a public policy perspective. Along those lines, make sure you have at least three sources from the SJCC databases. I encourage you to find scholarly sources from the field of Criminology. That is where this topic is studied. Here is a resource on organizing a research paper that I think would be helpful for you: https://www.sjsu.edu/writingcenter/docs/handouts/Outline%20Template.pdf Also, remember to make sure the paper is 6 full pages separate from the works cited. I hope that helps! Dr. Breheny
Jessica Breheny, May 12 at 12:42pm”
