For this discussion, review this student’s paragraph using the bulleted questions below.
Paragraph:
I think it’s hard to put into words how I feel about going to school. When I was younger, school was something fun that I looked forward to. My sister liked school, too. As I grew up, I looked forward to going to school less and less. Now that I’m an adult, I’m returning to school. I am not coming back because it’s something fun that I want to do. I am coming back because I need to do something. I hope school can help me with this.
In your original post, answer the following:
Does the topic sentence seem appropriate and provide enough detail? If applicable, explain how you would improve the topic sentence.
Are the supporting details on topic and specific? If applicable, explain how you would improve the supporting sentences.
Does the concluding sentence sum up the entire paragraph? If applicable, explain how you would improve the concluding sentence.
Are there any changes in the paragraph that you would make in word choice or punctuation?
Explain what you think the strengths are of the paragraph.
Explain what you think the weaknesses are of the paragraph.
In your responses to your classmates, address the following:
What suggestions do you have for your classmate about some of the changes they would recommend making?
