CONTENT: I have sent a feedback form that my teacher wrote and I would like you to look at all the comments and make adjustments. I would like you to inform me of what you are going to change and what you are going to do to fix the errors, and I had to change the essay since it was to heavy with Ai and The most recent file I attached will be the version in which you will edit from. I want this to be done with care since a 3 is not acceptable, and also I would like constant communication for changes instead of just giving a result that dose not meet the requirements.
Comments from Customer
PREVIOUS PAPER INSTRUCTIONS (#563284804): This is an IB ess IA and I cannot express how important this is. Last time I requested a writing, the writer used AI and I was screwed, and I do not want that happening period, and no usage of hard languages or unnecessary vocabulary. Your main task is not to write a whole bunch, but rather reducing it. Before you do anything, please notice that looking at the mark scheme carefully and understanding it, is a very crucial part. Also I have attached another data based IA that is similar to mine and I will tell what the person got just for reference. So the main purpose of reducing and formatting my essay differently is 1. use of over complicated language and AI so need to re write the majority of things, however no need for writing it on your own, most likely. 2. the word count is over the roof, too much words, and need to be within 2250. 3. focus, for the data analysis and the data presentation, I got feedback that there is simply no need for this type of data analysis, just put parts that you need, and focus more on connecting and discussing it. You will have a clear view on the difference with my IA and the one I an going to show you.
4. Look carefully at the requirements. 5. portion it well. Evaluation, and conclusion should be on a high level and look at the marking proportions too, the example I gave you missed a whole section. 6. please put some care and meet all the requirements and please no AI, I am sick of it when I pay and get that.
Thank you
If you need more resources or clarification, please feel free to contact me and just a reminder, everything about the topic is already there in the actual essay.
