Building on the valuable feedback you received from your classmates and my observations, your next task is to revise your persuasive speech outline. This assignment aims to refine your speech’s structure and content, ensuring it is compelling, persuasive, and well-organized.
Instructions:
Revise Your Speech Outline: Utilize the feedback to make substantive revisions to your speech outline. Focus on enhancing clarity, depth, and the overall flow of your speech.
Explanation of Revisions: Accompany your revised outline with a brief explanation (1-2 paragraphs) detailing your changes. Describe how the feedback influenced your revisions and the rationale behind your choices.
Submit Your Revised Outline and Explanation: Upload both your revised outline and the explanation document through the designated submission portal by the due date.
(The file I’m attaching is the file that will be used in combination for this new order, it has the revisions from the professor and the rest of the text above is self-explanatory in regards of how to approach this new document with this file I’m attaching in mind. AND REMEMBER, THIS ASSIGNMENT NEEDS TWO SUBMISSIONS, THE SUBMISSION EXPLAINING THE REVISIONS AND THE SUBMISSION OF THE REVISED OUTLINE I.E. THE SAME FILE I ATTACHED WITH THOSE NEW CHANGES.)
Here is the critiques from the past document attached – Dear Steven,
Thank you for your thoughtful submission on whether there should be stricter gun control laws to reduce gun violence. Your outline provides a solid foundation for a compelling argument and demonstrates a clear understanding of the assignment requirements.
Your introduction is engaging and effectively establishes the significance of the issue. The attention grabber and thesis statement are particularly strong, providing a clear and urgent call to action. Your credibility statement is personal and sincere, although the term “concerned gunman” may need rephrasing for clarity and appropriateness.
In the body of your outline, you effectively use statistics and examples to illustrate the extent of gun violence and the potential effectiveness of stricter gun control laws. The references to countries like Australia and Japan are well-chosen and support your argument convincingly. Additionally, the inclusion of public support and advocacy groups adds depth to your argument.
However, there are areas that require further development. For example, while you present statistics, it would be beneficial to include more specific data or examples to strengthen your points. In discussing the impact on communities, providing real-life anecdotes or case studies could make your argument more relatable and powerful. Similarly, the section on public support could benefit from a broader range of sources and a more detailed analysis of public opinion trends over time.
Your counterarguments and rebuttals are well-presented, showing an understanding of the opposing viewpoints and a readiness to address them. However, elaborating on the rebuttal to the Second Amendment argument with more legal precedents or expert opinions could fortify your position.
Your outline is comprehensive and well-structured. I recommend focusing on providing more detailed evidence and exploring multiple perspectives to create a more nuanced argument. Keep up the good work, and continue to refine your skills in presenting a balanced and well-supported argument.
