Attached is the paper that needs to be rewritten. Please see the feedback providedm to make correction.
Feedback:
you do want to include at least one original research article in paragraphs 2 and 3, along with any other basic sources. The study in the “gap” paragraph (#4) should also be an original, empirical research paper. It looks like you have some in each of these paragraphs so it is fine to supplement those with basic APA info and book chapter info. As for the topic, I think investigating different developmental stages is a good idea. For the purposes of a student paper it’s enough to identify 3 or 4 different age groups I’d suggest under 5, 6-10 (pre-puberty), early adolescent and older adolescent/young adult BUT take a look at some developmental literature. Also, what type of development, cognitive? Social? What you need in either paragraph 2 or 3 is a focus on developmental stage if that is the thing you will be adding for the first time. What are typical developmental stages? I found a paper that discusses “developmental trauma” (Addressing childhood trauma in a developmental context – PMC (nih.gov)) that might be useful. But what you’d need to do is think about how trauma impacts children/young people differently at stages and hypothesize how that would then lead to differing levels of binge eating. So put all info about binge eating (definition, connection to stress and trauma) in P2 or P3and have the other background paragraph discuss developmental stages and trauma at these stages. Then in P4 you state that this study will put these issues together for the first time. Keep the Coyne & Woodruff study but state that it does not take trauma experience into account (You already do this, actually). So the issue is that P4 talks a lot about development but there is no earlier paragraph explaining development to the reader, which is important if it is the new element to the study of trauma and binge eating.
P1: Sounds good
P2 and 3: One of these needs to discuss development (see comments above)
P4: I think you mean “…has not been able to demonstrate the mechanisms…”??
P4: Overall good; after reading P5 I’m confused if Kessler et al already looks at trauma and age together or not? Or do the researchers suggest this as a future direction and you are taking their suggestion? Please clarify that citation here rather than in P5 because the way it’s being cited there makes unclear whether the result has already been discovered by them or if it’s a suggestion for future work by them
P5: Mostly sounds good, but you will need a hypothesis that sets your work apart from earlier results showing binge eating increases with age (just due to normal social development/comparison to peers, but not due to trauma). Please clarify the Kessler citation (see comment above).
So I’d propose a few comparisons: 1) binge eating among young children with and without trauma, 2) binge eating among adolescents with and without trauma 3) binge eating among young adults with and without trauma. You could also look at the youngest trauma group and compare to the oldest trauma group (binging would be more in older group). So in the methods this would be a non-equivalent groups design (quasi-exp), all between groups comparisons being made of trauma experiences or different age groups
