What role does science play in turning race into a tool for the rich to stay on top?
What is a thesis statement? A thesis statement is a sentence (or two) at the end of your introduction succinctly expressing your essay argument. (See below for what not to do in a thesis statement.)
Post your carefully constructed thesis statement here. I am assigning 10 points to this discussion post and placing it in your essay grade category because of how important it is to your success on your essays. The rough draft is worth 20 points towards your essay grade so it (along with the 10 points for your thesis statement) will greatly impact how many total points you get for your essay.
Before you write your thesis statement and rough draft, please review “MUST WATCH Helpful Advice from Prof Jon on Topics for your Education Essay” and “Prof Jon Video and Handouts on the Essential Elements of College Level Argument Essays.” Review the handout on thesisLinks to an external site. statements in general and Prof Jon’s advice on a potential focus for your arguments. Speaking of focus, sentence focus is especially important in thesis statements. Whatever you focus on in your thesis statement should be carried over to your focus in your topic sentences (ie. corporations in the subject position).
Also important to know what NOT TO DO in thesis statements. These are the common errors I see in thesis statements:
Your thesis statement at the end of your introduction should NOT be a solution based argument. It has to be a statement of a problem of some kind. You can bring in a solution in a body paragraph or in your conclusion. We do not have enough reading support for a whole essay on a solution. Your thesis can be one or two sentences.
Your thesis statement CANNOT be a simple statement of fact that no one would disagree with. Like the poor and people of color get an inferior education, racism exists or poverty is widespread etc.. Someone would have to be opposed to what you claim to make it an argument.
DO NOT put a list of your topics in your thesis statement. That is the high school 5 paragraph essay model, and we are past that now. We need to express our argument in our thesis and not just express what we plan to do.
And DO NOT put just one of your topics in your thesis statement either. If you do that, you will have to write your whole essay about just that topic. Make your thesis more general so you can support your argument with several topics. I give an example of a more general thesis in the MUST WATCH element.
DO NOT have your thesis be in the form of a question. It has to be an affirmative statement of your argument in your own voice.
Which brings me to the last DO NOT. DO NOT have your thesis statement be in the form of a quotation from a source or a point that a source makes. This needs to come from you and be in your own words and voice. Of course you may be agreeing with our authors, but you have the right to form your own opinion, and you need to express that in your own words in your thesis. Also do not say “I agree…” in your thesis. That connects your argument too much with someone else, and you need to be making your OWN CLAIM in your thesis statement.
The last DO NOT is DO NOT refer to your essay in the third person in the form of “This essay will show that….” or “In this essay WE will delve into the reasons behind….” Both of those statements are NOT POSSIBLE. Essays cannot DO anything and you are writing your essay ALONE unless you are a multiple personality. You need to express your argument in active voice in your thesis from YOUR OWN point of view. Come to a conclusion BEFORE YOUR WRITE and then express that conclusion about the problem in the essay. The purpose of the essay is NOT to delve into a problem. Do that ahead of time before you write your essay. Otherwise you will be very tempted to write a high school report instead of a college argument.
No replies to classmates required for this post. I do not have time to wait the two days to give feedback!
Attention on Double Posting: As per the syllabus, you can only post one time. If you double post, you will receive a ZERO for that post. Viewing other students’ posts before your post is not permitted.
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Works Cited
American Experience, PBS. The Eugenics Crusade. Aired October 16, 2018.
Baldwin, James. Buckley, William. The Pin Drop Speech. YouTube.
https://youtu.be/oFeoS41xe7w. A Critical Analysis of the Baldwin/Buckley
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Colombo, Gary, Robert Cullen, and Bonnie Lisle, eds. Rereading America Cultural Contexts for
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— Buck, Pem Davidson. “Constructing Race, Creating White Privilege.”
— Cose, Ellis. “Can a New Race Surmount Old Prejudices.”
— Fredrickson George. “Models of American Ethnic Relations: A Historical Perspective.”
— Steele, Shelby. “I’m Black, You’re White, Whose Innocent.”
Drinnon, Jon, ed. Supplemental Canvas Reader. 2020.
— Buck, Pem Davidson. “Constructing Race, Creating White Privilege.”
— Chomsky, Noam. “Reclaiming the University for all the People of California, Assaulting
Solidarity.” “Privatizing Education.”
— “Eugenics and the Nazis: The California Connection” San Francisco Chronicle.
— Gates Jr., Henry Louis. “A Liberalism of Heart and Spine.” New York Times, 27 March
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— Loewen, James. “Land of Opportunity.” Lies My Teacher Told Me.
— Omi, Michael and Winant, Howard. “Racial Formations.”
DuVernay, Ava, Director. 13th. 2016.
Rees, Dee, Director. Mudbound, 2017.
Rapper Killer Mike. “Rapper Killer Mike urges calm amid violence in Atlanta,” YouTube,
Robinson, Jeffery. The Truth About the Confederacy in the United States. YouTube.
https://youtu.be/B3HzfYWQhH8
— Robinson, Racial Bias in America How Did We Get Here Why Are We Stuck, YouTube, https://youtu.be/PM9nt5rN3X0
— Robinson, The Role of Race in the Criminal Injustice System, YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/live/E522Umaul2M?feature=share
Steele, Shelby. Modern Liberalism and America’s Racial Divide. YouTube.
The Eugenics Crusade. An American Experience Film. PBS.
The House We Live In — Race: The Power of an Illusion. California Newsreel. PBS.
Zinn, Howard. You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving Train, The Story of Howard
Zinn. YouTube, https://youtu.be/vwuJjWE-XrA.
Zinn, Howard. “The Empire and the People,” A People’s History of the United
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