For this assignment, you will consider the following hypothetical situation:
Jane sees coworker Jason outside her office. Jason says, “Hi, Jane. I’ve been meaning to ask you if you would join a committee that I’ve formed to organize the holiday party this year. Will you join?” Jane says, “Sure, I’d be happy to help.” A few minutes later, Jane regrets agreeing to join Jason’s committee because she is already overextended in her job duties and is a member of several job-related committees that are taking up much of her time. Later that evening, Jane reflects upon why she continually finds herself in these situations and decides to make a list of the reasons she always says yes to requests for help:
I’m a people-pleaser
I genuinely want to help people
I want to be liked and appreciated
I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings
I don’t want someone to think badly of me
Being mindful of the 1st Agreement of Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, as discussed in chapter 11 of the textbook, draft up to three different responses that Jane could have given Jason that support the above list while respecting the fact that she does not have the time to join Jason’s committee. Your submission should begin by discussing Ruiz’s four agreements and how they relate to authentic communication.
Ruiz four agreements
In his transformational book The Four Agreements, Ruiz offered a four-point code of conduct for com-municating in our everyday lives (Figure 11.4), discussed in the following sections (1997):
#1 Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using words to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
#2 Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
#3 Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
#4 Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
