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This is the assignment; i have written my about me but i feel as if i need it to

This is the assignment; i have written my about me but i feel as if i need it to be shortened down, some extra stuff taken out if needed or made to sound a bit smarter or “richer”.  Work is a key point in my life as i have always worked 2-3 jobs and have always beeen in school while working. I dont have many hobbies outside of work & i truly am known for my love of chaos, and fixing the chaos. Quite literally they send me to locations to fix them because they know i can fix them quicker than most managers, Yorktown is still my current location if i did not add that into my paper. 
here were the instructions 
This “About Me” story will be the foundation for the Linked In Summary and About Me sections of your professional website (upcoming assignments). To earn the points for this assignment, post your Word document in Submissions by this week’s due date.
Also share it on our class Discussion board to receive feedback from one of your classmates in Week 3. With this exchange in mind, focus your story on life experiences that you feel comfortable sharing publicly and that relate to character or skill development that can be assets in your professional life.
1. Write from a prompt
You are essentially writing a creative non-fiction piece, which works well when you start with a prompt. Review the prompts below and then write what comes to mind. Don’t judge. Don’t edit. Just let your mind take you where it goes naturally. You can fix your grammar and sentence structure later.
PROMPT OPTIONS:
On the day I was born…
I was born in…
I am the child of…
Or start with a meaningful life experience, such as moving to a new city or country, a significant death, mastering a significant skill or talent, overcoming an obstacle.
2. Use facts to tell your story. Resist the urge to explain. 
For example: 
Facts: 
The day I started sixth grade was my first day at Harper School. I moved to the northern suburbs from the southside of Chicago only two days before and everything was unfamiliar. I felt out of place, awkward and scared.
Explaining: 
I remember being scared on the day that I started sixth grade because my family had just moved into a new community.
Notice how the facts place you in the scene and tell a richer story.  This kind of writing will breed more emotion. 
3.  Rewrite and edit.  
Now read what you have written. Your ideas will be rough, but hidden in your words will be precious gems about who you are. Decide how you want to tell your story, and rewrite it. Wherever you explain, revise with facts and details. Edit, rewrite, and edit. 
HINT: Revisit your writing over a couple of days. You’ll see things differently when you come back to your ideas after 24 hours.

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