ENG4U: Essay #1
Instructions: Over the last month our class has been discussing philosophical and systemic approaches to incarceration in our society, examining topics such as inequity, corruption, wrongful incarceration, recidivism, and rehabilitation. For this assignment, you will be writing an essay responding to one of the following incarceration related prompts:
What should the balance between punishment and rehabilitation be in prisons?
In your essay, you must refer to two texts studied in class – one essay and one media text other than your own – and rely on your own ideas, opinions, words, and phrasing to develop the argument. Any work that is not your own original work will not be accepted and will result in a mark of zero.
Finally, the attached brainstorming and outline must be completed by hand, for the assignment to be accepted, unless accommodated. Every student will discuss their outline with the teacher during the essay writing process, for feedback and development.
MLA in text citations and bibliography must also be included for complete marks.
Word Count: 1250 – 1750 words, typed
here are the medias : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpAEHWVV1Ik&t=217s
and https://www.oaksrevitalization.com/recidivism-and-rehabilitation-canadian-contributions-to-effective-correctional-strategies
here is the feedback for my current essay so far
Good start, Efrat. I can see the research and thought you put in, which I really appreciate. Good use of essay structure overall. However, I would heavily encourage you to resubmit and speak to me further in class about changes to make.
Areas of improvement:
-Explain the allegory you reference in body paragraph #1 more. With the current explanation, to make the connection to the criminal justice system more clear
-Instead of saying “this essay argues” or “the thesis is” just state what you’re going to say – no need to label the parts of the essay in your writing
-Make sure to include in text citations and a Works Cited list
-Consider what role, if any, punishment should play in the incarceration system – you mention punishment but you only really explain rehabilitation, so your stance on punishment is a little unclear
-Make sure to utilize at least one media text and one essay as your proof in your essay for full marks in both those categories
Katherine WarrinerYesterday
Sorry, I just saw your Works Cited page – ignore that part
i have attached my essay as a pdf
ENG4U: Essay #1 Instructions: Over the last month our class has been discussing
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