Here was the original assignment;
*What are some key terms in “The Case for Reparations”? What do the mean in this context? What are the connotations? Why does Coates use them? Discuss three key terms. Do not offer dictionary definitions.
Here is what needs to be revised per professor;
** You made strong choices in terms of your examples and explained their significance. However, I want to see one final bit of analysis that links the purpose of each term to the aggregate purpose of the essay. You wan to stick with just three key terms, devoting one paragraph to each of the three. This will mean cutting down a bit, and I think that will actually overall make the essay clearer and more purposeful. The topic sentences are missing what I call the “which/therefore”: Instead of just the topic sentence to state the fact, make an assertion using analysis that links back to the larger purpose of the essay, as laid out in the thesis.
**You used APA and not MLA style-in-test citation, which should look like this (Coates54). In an essay focus on word choice, I think it would be great to include one or two more direct quotations, especially since you used them to such great effect in the first essay. Your writing style should be clear and specific. I should be able to just read the thesis statement and know what the essay is about. Structurally, that means the thesis should function as a complete thought and contain the name of the author, the essay, and the three specific examples you will use in your essay. Similarly, each topic sentence should act as a mini thesis and clearly and specifically preview the paragraph it is introducing with a strong analytical assertion: x quote is accomplishing Y which connects to z (z is some aspect of your thesis). Im seeing just a few typos and grammar errors, like capitalized “Owes” in the first sentence.
