Scenario: You work in the claims department for The Acme Company. Your new supervisor Swizzle Malarkey has attempted to improve the professionalism within the company. In particular, Swizzle has asked employees to limit their personal calls during business hours as well as the number of personal conversations everyone has around the office. Unfortunately, your coworkers have not complied and office productivity is decreasing. Out of frustration, Swizzle drafts the below memo but asks you to review it before it’s sent to all employees. You recognize that the office atmosphere has become too relaxed, but you also believe that the style and tone of the memo could be improved for professionalism.
MEMO
To: Acme Co Chitchatters (you know you are)
From: Swizzle Malarkey, Supervisor
Subject: Office Chitchats and Miscellaneous
Date: September 15, 2019
Pursuant to my recent memo, I must insist that telephonic communication for personal problems be reduced immediately. I know you gals have to take calls from your kids when they are out of control, but the general conversations about everyone’s surgical operations needs to cease. There seems to have developed a general problem with attending to our work tasks on a regular and timely basis. I provide the coffee, but that doesn’t mean I’m encouraging a general milling around the coffeemaker for 20 minutes every morning. In short, it is acknowledged that a certain amount of verbal exchange is typical for every office and is useful for maintaining a relaxed atmosphere in the office surroundings, but it can all interfere with normal working schedules and inhibit the accomplishment of the work we are gathered to perform.
TEXT BOOK LINK ; https://www.oercommons.org/authoring/54645-professional-and-technical-writing/1/view
Instructions: You have two tasks:
Edit the memo for style and tone. Paste your revised memo under the original so I can clearly see your suggested edits.
Once you’ve edited the memo, write a brief memo to Swizzle (200–250 words) that summarizes your major editorial suggestions. Focus on justifying your 2–3 primary style improvements. Your goal is to persuade Swizzle to accept all your style suggestions, so support your recommendations by citing the suggested principles in your textbook.
